Monday, January 17, 2011

Knitting, Giving, and Conway Cradle Care

One of my proudest achievements in the past year was a class project that helped raise awareness about teen pregnancies in my community. The organization that we selected was the Conway Cradle Care, which is a non-profit group that provides day care and parenting classes for teenage parents as well as encouraging them to enjoy community service. Many of these young girls and boys, with the help of Conway Cradle Care and others in the community, are pulling together their resources to create a meaningful future, one that is not only for themselves, but also for their child. The teenagers who participate in the Conway Cradle Care project are becoming parents amidst the bog of identity insecurities attributed to the adolescent experience. My involvement with Conway Cradle Care focused on the community and the teenage parents. A few friends and I organized an event in the courtyard of my university to raise awareness about teen pregnancy. To do this we made a large chain of our hand-knitted items, and pinned a little fact to each. We passed out pamphlets about the organization, and told how volunteering helped these students and their children continue their education. We showed how the success of the parents and the infants was good for the community. My favorite part of the project was more personal. My friends and I knitted hats for the mothers, children, and volunteers at the Conway Cradle Care so that they would have a special gift at their Christmas party. Many of the parents were struggling financially, so I hoped that a warm hat would fill a practical need while also giving them a unique thing that they would be proud to wear.
While reflecting Conway Cradle Care project, I am learning that, as a maker, I have to ultimately trust the recipients. Giving is a release. This is a positive action that helps me grow as a maker and adds to another person’s experience. However, this act of giving becomes a problem if the release is only done on a physical level, and I existentially cling to my work. My knitting is a gift, and I have to remember that the recipient is capable of using it in a way that best suits their needs. There is a difference between giving and then thoughtfully considering the act of giving, and giving with a naïve expectations. Giving knitted items should be a complete act of mind and body and thoughtfully considered. The imparting of a gift is freeing, because then both my hands and imagination have grown with a new skill of giving that can be applied to a new project.
I learned how to be a better giver when I looked at the pictures from the Conway Cradle Care project and saw my as-yet favorite hat on beautiful, little girl. The hat was upside down. The angle of the hat made it look lumpy and awkward, and not in the least like the fanciful, autumnal cap I had my sister model for me over Thanksgiving. The sweet child’s face was not happy, and I began to have doubts about my creation. I felt that it should have been pink or have a more traditional round shape, and maybe then it would be a better match. The picture did not match the expectations that I had for the experience of giving. Then I caught myself, and realized that it was only image. And this image came to represent the disappointment of unrealized expectations. These are emotions that do not promote a spirit of giving. Remaining existentially tied to a creation is not only arrogant, but in the end, taints the beauty of giving. The expectations of giving should not form strings that are tied to the maker’s ideals, but rather, they should lift the recipient’s own motivations and creative power. My knits should be given in excitement about another’s experience. That is why the gift was given in the first place, to uplift the spirit of another. One of my friends chuckled when he saw the picture, saying, “Don’t worry. They will figure it out.” I hope that they will find learning and joy because of my gift, even if it is in a small way.
A positive attitude of giving is productive and necessary. Giving hand knitted items is like motherhood. My knits are soft, colorful, and designed to both please aesthetically, nurture with a spirit of care, and fill a practical need. However, I must realize that my knits are born into a life of their own after they pass from my hands. Coupled with a concern for others must be flexible expectations, so that the experience of giving can be thoughtful and produce future inspiration rather than judgmental stagnation. This can be painful when the gift, the product of many hours of labor, is not used in the way that I expected. One of the giving skills that I learned from the two projects and will carry on to future service is that you have to balance time with making the gift carry something that makes it special. For example, I did a simple, beautiful pattern for one of the infant hats, but made it special by using a fiber of exquisite texture, the heathery softness of bamboo yarn. My last hat for the Conway Cradle Care Project had tassels that would dance with the light footed meanderings of a child. These details, while unimportant to others, helped me to find meaning, especially for projects where the recipient is unknown. However, the picture of the little girl showed me that I will need to do some charity giving where I can create a knit that is tailored to the recipient’s preferences. I also enjoy giving notes with my gifts, because writing accomplishes the following two things: 1.Notes personally communicate care and goodwill. 2. Writing allows me to find closure with the project and process my reflections internally.
In light of the Conway Cradle Care Project, I will be more sensitive to the positive and negative aspect of the giving experience. I was shocked to realize that giving well takes great courage; the investment is personal and emotional. Helping people have better lives is one the most amazing parts about living, because it is an experience that involves construction, creativity, learning, and caring. I want my gifts to help others experience those emotions. The success of giving to others should be thoughtfully examined and learned from, so that future giving will bloom into new and better paths. But first, I have to release the gift, move on, and let it take its part in the lives of others. I loved knitting for others so much that I have based a New Years resolution on the experience. My goal for 2011 is to knit several hats and scarves for charity, and to continue helping others through knitting, writing and volunteering..

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